it's happening

my sisters getting married

kathleen left at 6 30 am, just 3 hours after I left her house last night.

wedding rehearsal tonight at 6

i just played a show at college perk last night for the last time in a while and i love college perk and i loved last night and seeing all of the beautiful people i've come to know that were there listening and chiming in, and even dancing.

there's a half full suitcase in my room

i know so much about this stage of life, and so little about the next.

when i look at my friends i smile because i'm happy for the beautiful people they are and all they're going to accomplish in the years to come... then want to cry for not being able to be in eachothers prescense to share it.

i know Portland is the place I need to go.

I have no clue what it's going to be like there.

I don't know if I'm prepared for nights alone and feeling misunderstood.

My guitar will forever be my friend and i'll be happy to take it with me on the plane.

I have so much hope for the people I know and their futures.

It's hard to focus on my sisters wedding when there's so much changing in my life already.

I'm genuinely happy for her and Jesse, he'll be the coolest brother in law i could've hoped for.

Procrastination might get the best of me this week... not a good thing.

I'm ready to be self-sufficient, but it's going to take a lot of growing and a lot of strength... and it IS so much better when we're together!! jack johnson knows, so do some people i love.

I love Rachael Maddox so much.

There's never any words I can say when I see my friends crying, but I feel what they feel and i want to give whatever support i can. it's hard to do that without words, i wonder how it can be done.

saying goodbye is such a fragile thing. but for some reason, after sitting in my car with the door open and one foot on kathleens driveway for 10 minutes, it was the only thing i could say that would force me to close the door and drive away.

i really do mean for it to be a GOOD-bye though, like me sending her off with good energy. fresh and alive. understood and motivated. taking the necessary steps even when you're bursting with emotion.

trevs home after a week of being at Pepperdine, he's here for the wedding. reunions are golden.


i'm off to eat italian food for the rehearsal dinner. i'll love this! you see how my thoughts jump around... its a lot to be happening at once. inside and outside.