a good thing

i was feeling so disconnected as of yesterday... and then i sent an email to a bunch of people i haven't heard from who i love and care about just to ask them to inform me on whats going on in their life, and it has been so rewarding just to read through these emails full of love and encouragement and HONESTY.

it reminds me that the relationships you build don't just disappear... sure you lose touch sometimes, but people you really connect with in your life will always be there to connect with. none of the love or attention you give ever goes to waste. same with the love and attention other people give to you-- it surely doesn't go to waste, or it shouldn't go to waste, and i guess thats what saying thank you is all about. doing all this stuff isn't easy, but its certainly necessary and ultimately is rewarding.

then theres the bigger challenge of not just keeping up with what you already built, but continuing to build relationships where you're at. and that's my big challenge here that is especially hard at times (opening up when not feeling happy), but every step is a good step.. a step towards progress.

i'm in the student center and someones playing the radio and "i'll be missing you" by puff daddy came on... and everytime i hear this song i go back to being in the twins grandmothers attic singing it when it came on the radio.. knowing all the words. so weird how songs can do that. i love it.

a good life is an honest one, a hard one. i'm growing lots right now i can feel it.