the end of the song

so i wrote that song spectacular.. and i cut the original one short. how it is now it ends with the phrase:

"If you ever wondered what it felt like to be a star
I meant to tell you with my kiss that you are spectacular"


but before that it was a bit longer... with another chorus that goes as follows-

"And you started to feel it
And you started to know
But it had to be too good
To ever. Be true

And I trace your steps with only words now: let you walk away.

I wanted to feel it, cause I’ve got to know, that it will be too good
And it will forever be true."




thus summing up my love life, or lack thereof. but things happen for a reason, or don't happen--for a reason. so i have the ability to befriend any male on the planet, but to take it a step further is foreign territory. its as if the idea never struck anyone that i'd want to be in a meaningful relationship. (this is a very self-centered view)

through all my religious struggles of what i believe or don't believe, it always came down to this idea that i believe in love... when i haven't the slightest idea what love really is.