good mood :)

hey, i'm happy!

Sorry the last few posts were sort of.. depressing maybe? Soccer tryouts, for anyone who cares, are pretty hard, they wouldnt be AS bad if i didnt hurt my knee. I have tendonitus and then i fell on it, so now its all swollen. BUT I still worked out pretty hard today, which i felt good about. (and by feeling good, like i guess you'd call it mental happiness, cause i'm achin everywhere else). it's just good to know you can do some crazy hard work outs, i've accomplished SOMEthing today.

I really do want to try hard this year and be determined and commited and all that great stuff.

So i went to lunch with rob today.. showed him the africa pics, our waitress was cool and asked about the trip. I'm so happy I got to go on that trip. It really helps me to put my life in perspective and want to take advantage of more oppurtunity, since i have it here, whereas a lot of people in say, burundi, don't have much "oppurtunity".

talkin to rob was good, i shared all the crazy views i have about religion, and how i feel like it kind of clashes, esp. cuz my dads a preacher, but that maybe it's not the worst thing in the world to really take life as it comes. I dont have it all figured out. I'm well aware of that, and i think the minute we think we have it all figured out... we're probably makin a mess of something. I dont know man, but life is really good. I see it like, everyone has a reason for believing/acting the way they do. including myself. and sometimes those ways people are born into need a little challenging, and in the end.. only the truth is gonna come out, if we're willing to really grapple with it. Which i'd say i'm willing.

you know, even when it comes down to soccer tryouts, i'm happy being where i am. Sure i'll work hard, and maybe get better. but i'll never be first in the mile run. my body's just not good with that mess. as much as i get upset over stuff like that. it doesnt even really matter. you give all you can, and thats not always the best. needless to say, i have enough to keep me going. enough to wake up tomorrow and run two miles with a swollen left knee. and if thats not enough to make the team. then this just wasn't meant to BE!

Yeah i do believe in that- things happening for a reason. cause i dont know, it just makes sense to me. if you act like something wasnt meant to happen- it already happened anyway, so what are you gonna do about it? if it WAS meant to happen, then you'll see it as something thats gotta be for the better, and make the best of it. get what i'm sayin? Well it works for me.

anyway i ran the mile in 8 minutes and 4 seconds. worse than half the team or more, and i could throw excuses with the knee, but what the hell... it doesnt really matter, and i got to know some people trying out that i never knew before, and i dont care what their time on the mile was. people matter more than statistics. i'm thinkin its all about attitude. and thats one thing i'm tryin to be good for.


goodnight