the beginning

i can't believe i'm typing this from my bed, in my room in the basement, on my very own mac PowerBook G4 laptop!!!! This thing is awesome, i feel like writing a book or something (dont worry I won't attempt to in this post).

Christmas started around 7 am.. we opened lots of presents and sat in piles of wrapping paper and opened boxes. I was thinking about taking a shower and eating breakfast and trying on some of the new clothes i got... but my mom brought in this trash bag and my dad told us that we're all getting a surprise because his books have been selling lots and he had the money to treat us all.. i pulled this out of the trash bag with a sort of face that is like "are you kidding me?" i said... "is this MINE?!" and they were like YES! and i just started screaaaming! Biggest surprise everrrr.


anyway.. besides the material obsession i'm trying not to have with this beautiful piece of equipment, this christmas has been filled with a whole lotta love. I'm so glad rach and kathleen could come over yesterday when my grandparents and aunt and uncle were here. we started christmas early because we went to jersey today... but yeah us three had another chilled out time in my room, talking about where we're at in our lives (cause it seems like we're always somewhere new each time we see eachother.. which is kind of amazing) I love what we have, cause we're so freakin understood when we're together and its just very cool, very real, very true.

speaking of being understood... i think this christmas, my christmas list was a lot more centered on stuff that fits with me.. like i got a lot of books by awesome authors (ralph waldo emerson.. albert camus), and some sweet sounding CDs. i never used to ask for "meaningful books" but thats totally what i wanted.

its weird though, having so much this christmas, cause i know theres lots of people who dont have much. i feel kind of compelled to give. i watched oprah the other day and she helped out so many people in south africa to get jobs and help run schools of orphans and all this really amazing stuff. it was really cool cause i was in africa and i totally knew the feeling she was talking about having... i dont care how many people try to make fun of oprah, that woman is so amazing and no one can convince me otherwise! but yeah.. a dollar a day can save a kids life there, i kind of feel like doing that.

ever since i studied government a little bit and started becoming aware of poverty, i'm just like.. why are people so RICH? cant they just reach a point of satisfaction and start giving everything that surpasses what they need... its just so contradictory to our society to try to have that "point" to reach and just stop after that, but i really wish it were that easy, cause people could be helping eachother out a whole lot.

i think the internet has really connected far-away parts of the world.. like i've received emails from people in burundi, africa. does something sound ridiculous about that? i receive emails from my friends 10 minutes away that live very similar lives.. and then 26 year old augustine sends me an email from some rundown internet cafe in africa. we're all just people man.. and we're all as connected as we'd like to see ourselves. maybe its just a matter of allowing ourselves to give a little; not shutting out the voice that says "save the world!", because its logical to say i cant save the world, but how the hell do we find out what we CAN do unless we try something.. for the sake of someone else, when its natural to want to. its just so beautiful to even think about.

so what if my senior year is slowly coming to an end.. i just feel like every day is a beginning. each thought is like another beginning of something new. lifes too full for powerlessness, especially in the place we live; we have SO MUCH OPPORTUNITY! do everything you ever wanted to, before the new year, every day, dont wait, just LIVE and love it all.

okay so maybe i diddd write a short novel, hopefully you stayed with me and didnt stop reading, love you all, merry day after christmas


Jodi