state of mind

if freedom is a state of mind.. then isnt everything a state of mind? i mean.. you're as free as you think you are, as happy as you wanna be, as satisfied as you want to be, as miserable as you want to let yourself stay.


thinkin i should just go to sleep.. but at the same time feeling i need to push myself to start doing more things i care about. seems like society is sittin around saying "not my job to fix things, not my job to stand up to anyone, not my job to change anything" and we all know where to point the finger... we all know who's to blame. so there it goes... the leaders get blamed for not being enough of a leader to succomb to the followers needs. so no one follows.

and what have we got? america? society? high school? a group of friends? ... ourselves.

like.. i find it kind of crazy that we sit in school and beg to "do nothing" to.. "not learn". whats left then? sleep? having fun? so we party on weekends and sleep in til noon and that keeps us going. that keeps a lot of people going at least. still i want to be enlightened, i want to be inspired, i want to be drawn in, have my eyes opened to something exciting. does this mean i'm enamored by going to school? not really.. but its a shame that school cant be a lot better, considering the smart ppl that walk through the building.


just wanna leave this poem i thought was cool that got me thinking today... at school...


(A Translation of John Ashbery's) "WHAT IS POETRY"


by Jill E. Brown (April 1995)


Should we really call traditional verse with its ornamentation and
elaborate description poetry?
Can the acts of nature be forced into a linguistic box and then called
poetry?
Why does one feel compelled to control nature by demarcating it with
imagery and lofty symbolism?
If it snows, it snows. We have no control over it. Forget about the
pretentious attempts to characterize it.
Is it possible to forget about ideas altogether (like I am trying to here)?
I don't understand why poets revert back to tradition when we see the
possiblility in new forms. How can they not see the inadequacy of
tradtitional poetry as we, the New York Poets, so plainly see?
It goes back to school, where they try to teach you to abandon
creativity.
The mind is like a vast field full of life, potential, and possibility.
But they teach you not to see this and instead focus on a narrow
path of traditional bull shit. And that's all it is: SHIT. The
only purpose it serves is to fertiliz the field and grow
more precious flowers to describe in their endless
cycle of bull shit.




... and i just hope that cycle of bullshit does change for each individual into a beautiful life of opportunity in which they are in control. i'm just workin on building that capability, i know i have it, i just seem to lose sight of it when i'm at school half the day. we're priveleged to have free education, still its complicated.. and it really depends on your state of mind when it comes down to it, how you're gonna live/view things. mine just happens to be a lil depressing tonight (which is also subject to change because i want it to).



peace