good news/bad news/what in the world is next?

ITALY is in 3 days and I am SO excited, almost nothing has been able to shake my happiness for finally being able to go to the country of my dreams, Italy! nothing until today... when I followed up with teachers I'd spoken to about performing my graduation song, "don't forget me" (listen at www.jodimclaren.com), and they basically said there's not time for me to play it at graduation. that it would be a waste of time to try to approach the ppl reviewing speeches, and that the performance time is reserved for band/choir people. I'd still love to play it at class night, or wherever i can cause the song does mean a lot to me, and i'd think to my fellow classmates as well--totally let me know what you think about the song (you don't have to say you like it either, its still the kind of song i can make changes to).

that news basically had tears brimming that i managed to freeze with a straight/expressionless face as i walked out of mrs. bennett's room and she willfully encouraged "bring the song into class tomorrow, we'll listen to it!" I just wanted to escape to my own world where i didn't have to worry about making this connection with ppl who simply don't have the time. (mrs. bennett isn't the one that doesn't have the time--she totally took the CD home and listened to it and made suggestions on one of the lyrics, very nice of her to take the time to do that). I don't know though, maybe with enough student support we could work something out. After all it's 5 minutes of graduation time. I'll atleast ask dr. kauffman, and you know... if it's something that really isn't going to work, class night would be a really cool place to do it, and by then i'd have a decent recording of it too (I get to record in mid-april!)


among all of this.. i got home from school to my mom looking like a kid that just ate the cookiedough from the fridge ready to confess--- "what you dont have your cell phone with you? you had mail... and i kind of opened it.... from lewis and clark." just by her FACE i knew i got in, and i was kind of mad that i didnt get to experience opening the package, but there it was with the seal broken and the words "congratulations" written followed by a certificate- dean's scholarship, $8,000 a year. this has been my deamed "first choice", but when it comes down to actuallly deciding, i dont know howw i'm going to do it! there's still money issues. and for those of you who don't know, lewis and clark college is in Portland, Oregon! A visit will help... that is in mid-april as well.

i just don't feel very STABLE right now, i dont know how else to say it, but things could go in so many different directions. but let me just SAY i am soooo sooo thankful for this trip to italy. i plan to enjoy myself at all costs. no delayed flight could ruin my time there, its like the country i've dreamed about man! 3 days, three days i totally can handle until the flight leaves and takes me to dreamland. email me your address: settle4more@gmail.com, i'll try to send postcards!

college decisions are being post-poned til when i return. but lewis and clark is quite possibly the most awesome looking school ever... could be just the place for me, they even require international studies which means this traveling to europe thing will be sure to continue, and i'm so about that. denison is sweet too, really loved their english classes, i sat in on one class where they talked about lewis and clark (the people) and the idea that traveling can be a selfish thing to do. so many mixed signals, or are they all just signs pointing northwest? big things await me man...




Jodi