discovered an old poem... and it fits.

"flowers and sunshine"

like a fragile flower in a curious sun
that can either pull its delicate pedals further apart
allowing the whole world to peer in
or
be scared back into a protective place
where the pedals shield beauty from the outside

i'm at that brink
all i want pouring in like sunshine
and all the crap in the way scaring me out of it
but it all looks the same
like it's all just as warm, just as assuring
to ball up in a shell
to break free and excel

whatever i do, i don't want to do it just so they can look at me and smile
as i become what every talented young person can become
so people can write crappy news articles about my life to try to get their article together for their job so they can have enough money to sleep at night
hell, i'm doing it so i can sleep at night.

guess we're in for this one together.
(is this why ppl sleep together?)
we're in this crazy big mess
and scanning this sunshine, well its all some big test, you don't realize you're taking
and each moment in life, you don't realize you're making

so the sun can pour in the slivers of space between the blinds on my window
and gently touch our faces soft and innocent, we don't know where to go
and it really can't be that wrong. if we weren't so quick to judge, we wouldn't be so uptight about perfection.
so you want to make the fudge, someone else laces it with mud, and we of course put the crime on the news, who knew? another criminal on our streets
another imperfect soul
if only we'd all pretend to be perfect, pretend to be whole, even He wept.


but we're all just trying to sleep at night, right?
i have the right, to be satisfied with my life. we each have that right.
ever wonder what happened to that part of the society you wish would change
that thing about living you put up with day after day
within the whole there are parts, maybe small
this life is your thoughts, actions, reactions, the sum of it all.


so you may feel powerless, maybe taken over
maybe half-way open and afraid to move your arms over to let a little more sun in
a little less shadow
what don't we know?
a little less shadow could mean no protection at all.
defense wins the game, unless you're not playing to win, unless you've got something bigger, some push from within.

and with this realization you can change your life in 10 easy steps
the quick way to learn, the fast way to lose 10 pounds, in 10 minutes, you want to take life by the quick easy steps?
here, end it fast, don't wait for the slow hours to pass.
i'm going to sleep soon, we're approaching the opposite of the afternoon.
a life lived in a few minutes spent
recalling the flower, recalling the sun
and how our thoughts and surroundings blend and are truly one.