ignoring that one "should be.."

what a weekend! i dont believe a person is meant to get on TWO seven hour flights in one weekend... just not the bestt idea. so i'm a mix of tired and emotional and happy and confused but sure at the same time. what i'm NOT is: in the mood to do english hw. it's an analysis of poetry, i should be fine, right? since i like poetry, i'd just do this assignment like it was fun, right? .... what i'm really trying to do is hang out with rach and kathleen cause i just GOT to, but they're in other states right now.

sorry for being so AMBIGUOUS~ Portland was the reason for the flights and the tiredness... i loooved the city, and lewis and clark college, so much that it made me realize that i'm actually leaving home in a few months. and the thought that happens after that is... why would i leave these beautiful amazing people i love? and i don't reaaally have an answer, rach kathleen mike judy, you tryin to hit up portland?

seriously though... this city was made for us weird hippies who love coffeehouses and music and culture and independent bookstores and open art galleries and beautiful trees/valleys/mountains and lots of rain that feeds luscious bright green grass that you could just sunbathe in for hours (or play mud football in when it rains)... i got a tour of the city from a wonderful young lady named Brittany and her friend Ashley, and they both made me feel right at home, we all bonded right away and enjoyed cups of coffee and talks about relationships and God and life, oh anddd had some really good crepes. i shoulda taken more pictures last night but i kinda didnt feel like it as half-lame as that sounds... i just didnt want to say HEY-FREEZE-PICTURE! i was just tryin to live, you know? anywayss... wow in all that writing i forgot about school tomorrow at 7:25 AM. maybe in like 20 years making kids wake up this early to sit in boring classes will be some sort of civil rights violation... lol yeah probably not, i DO believe in the education system... somewhere....in a very different/ideal setting.


um yess.. back to this lovely place... it doesnt even seem like its REAL, just because... it's so perfect. it would really challenge me as a musician to live there because everyone there is talented! which is great, i need to be pushed to achieve more. i mean.. the songwriting will always be a reflection of my super crazy thoughts, but i could always use some more practice on the guitar and with vocal stuff, just to improve and have more of a "reservoir" to draw from. oh reservoir high school, you've been great and all, but i am sooo ready to say PEACE OUT.

so i'm scared to actually go to portland because.... well not knowing people is rough, which hopefully will be cake (getting to know good ppl), i meann i did just meet a couple great ladies living in portland, and i'll branch out more because thats how it should go. dude... even my DAD is like... getting all emotional about me going to college already! and its not good cause so is rach and i don't want to be sad for these last months, i really want to live! --live as much as i can with the ppl i love that live here. and i want to be strengthened and encouraged to venture out and do what i'm so sure is the right thing for me to do-- go to Lewis and Clark! so if you got any helpful words then go ahead and leave them... or what would be more effective is some good experiences around here-- helloooo, we have B MORE and DC like RIGHT THERE waiting for us to dance in their clubs, sit under their magnolia trees, investigate their museums, lets be smart about this. remember my song? "move on without forgetting, live life without regretting" yeah man, i still mean that. And i believe you're with me there. hold me to that, if anything. this blog was fairly cathartic to write... phew, okay, attempt at english assignment- #1, ready... go-odbye!