the worlds moving, where are you?

today in english class mrs. bennett expressed her concern that we have 5 weeks left to do a lot of work... but all i heard was FIVE WEEKS. usually i might be upset at the thought of 5 weeks left of this phase of highschool.. (hey maybe i'll post my speech that didnt make it, cause its not badd)... anyway: today, maybe because i was especially annoyed with the task of going to school and sitting there, and being told about the AP tests that are so important and all the things we have to fulfill... looking over rubrics and guidelines and notes, and practice tests-- those two words (FIVE WEEKS) were like candy to my ears.


well today my recording session got cancelled, so i can sit here and reflect on the fact that everyday i have soooo much crap planned/unplanned that is going to happen or not happen depending on ME. it's kind of scary in way, cause i don't want to mess up. I'd like to be on top of everythingg. scholarship applications, AP tests, good times, work, running, late night conversations, solo RHS prom, AHS prom, RECORDING, CD design, performing, deciding on a college... it's all quite exciting from afar, but when you're right in it its kinda easy to get real overwhelmed... which i'm avidly trying to avoid!

i guess i was thinking about it... and how i really would like to enjoy these days, and to be extremely productive (partly because i have to be and also cause being productive is good). so i'm trying to like-- take care of things dead on, like making phone calls, writing emails, and other little lingering things that are involved with organizing shows and such. procrastination is my biggest foe/friend.. i can get a whoole lot done at the last minute, but i sometimes drive my self crazy until then.


it's just been a cool realization, that i dont HAVE TO do anything, and all of what i am doing is my choice. so what will i do with these choices? i won't just "deal with" them, i'll try to make the most of them, try to be a part of them, since it is ME who is in charge here, of this craziness called my life. hop on board the 5 weeks of wonder, the worlds moving, and so am i, maybe not in perfect accordance, but i'm sure not getting left in the dust. time to work hard, enjoy, cry, laugh, rock out, aka LIVE... and love it all the same.


happy beautiful day,
Jodi