color me THANKFUL

for so much. last night i just had a GRAND time (as kathleen's mom encouraged) at AHS's prom. as if last week's prom wasn't amazing enough, this weekend just filled me up with so much love and straight GOODNESS. i liked not taking 5 hours to take pictures, i didn't mind that mike and i both couldn't find our IDs and we made everything a little late... i liked eating at a small enough table to engage in real conversation, i liked being the first ones to dance on the dance floor and the view of our silohuettes against a black and white movie on the wall. i liked DANCING all night long with the coolest people ever. I liked traveling in a spacious red van. i liked going to get marshmellows and finding phish food icecream instead.. i liked the campfire in kathleens backyard and creating the background chords for made-up songs that made us cry, and holding on to eachother cuddled up under the stars (spooning is a beautiful thing), could've laid there forever. i liked waking up to the sun on my face and the realization that these lovely people aren't GOING anywhere so soon, and that i get to spend many summer nights just like this.

to all the mom's out there-- thanks for making life possible, because life is a beautiful thing. as we were driving in mike's car, there was this song playing by semisonic.. something with the word "movie" in the title, and it was a sort of quiet deep/interesting song, and i just thought that about how happy it was and it made me want to cry. then i looked down at the ipod and i guess it was the title of the CD this song was off of: "feeling strangely fine" and well, thats how i felt... strangely fine.

i've been thinking lately i abuse the word "weird" or "strange"... cause i just use it for anything i don't have the ability to clearly comprehend. to say i feel strangely fine is interesting, because i can't explain how good i felt the past couple hours with mike, rach, kathleen, and judy.. it's the kind of good if you think about it makes you want to cry, because well... we're all really amazing individuals, and we're about to go on our own journeys, and we all know we need to. it's just wild, like.. so much of me is in them/from them, when i played my graduation song last night kathleen had just said something about her appreciating my gift of music.. and like as soon as she said something it registered with me how.. my music is a part of me and my music can really speak to people, but its who those people are that starts the conversation in the first place and the creation of it all and the continuation of it. without all their encouragement (and this goes out to a lot of people), sure.. i'd still play my guitar, but my songs would be drastically different, and who knows if i'd love it as much as i do.

so i'd like to read/live more to have a better word for those times when i'm "feeling strangely fine"... until then, all i got to say is i love life, and i love the people that make my life, and i love impacting theirs... and that i'm thankful, so THANKS for being part of this process.

maybe its just a little scary to love people this much and know their gonna be across the country next year, man.. you all are going to do amazing things, and so am i. you better believe it.



Jo