tired happy

i'm exhausted beyond belief, but still in the best mood. going home was great! There's no "buts" after that phrase. Going home was great. So meaningful, and seeing familiar faces on campus puts me right at home, yeah I'm starting to catch myself saying "I got home last night at 1am"

which by the way-- my flight got delayed and then had fuel problems and had to land early.. pushing my 9:10 arrival in Portland to midnight. More reason for being tired (had to wake up really early to work on papers). But like I said, I'm in a great mood. Which isn't to say "everythings fine, nothing was ever wrong" because I think while I was home I got a clear view of what was wrong all this time here. It's that I wasn't being open all the time, and at home, anything I keep to myself will certainly be detected and processed with my friends... now it's up to me to actually put myself out there and make that effort that I got used to not having to make. So that might get hard sometimes, but hard is OKAY.

Even if things are bad, it's fine... as long as they're being dealt with, because then it's going someplace new, and change is a great gift in this world that we should take advantage of more as human beings. I guess that's why I'm all the way across the country. Just taking advantage of being able to change a whole lot. I don't mean change in a way that I lose myself, though that's possible if I'm not careful, but I'm here to change into a stronger more vivid version of me, whichever way I see fit.

"So how have you been? Cause I'm always changin'"


Jazz guitar is great, and so are Major 7 chords. mmmm, I'll have to play you some of those ppl back home (MD home I mean). Yes. I love eveyone in both of my homes, thanks for making my life so meaningful.


Jo