you're it.
theres such a sense of adventure out here and so much going on and so many people to meet and the subtle schedule, and the huge amounts of free time, time that needs to be set aside for work that rarely is.
it's hard for me to BE here. to be fully HERE in Portland, OR. it's such an opportunity, theres so many great things to get involved with... it sort of starts to feel like a big crazy game of emotional tag, and i just want to touch home base so i can stop running for a while.
so if home base is laurel MD, then whats a girl to do until thanksgiving? something tells me letters in the mail won't be able to fix the gap of 3,000 miles. i want to give a lot to this place, it just takes... i dont know what-- adjusting, and figuring out what would make this place more of a "home base."
posted by Jodi at 2:02 AM
2 Comments:
ride the wave, jo! i'm experiencing some of the same feelings here in new hampshire, not quite sure of where i need to go or what i need to do in order to make UNH feel a little more like MY place. but while i know this place is never going to be my home (because home is in maryland!) i still want to wear it down, break it in a little bit, and see how much of what i do and who i am might affect my new environment (and the other way around, of course) its the process of settling, and no one ever said it had to happen over night. "time" really is the answer to a lot of these issues. simply time. and lots of love! just like breaking in a new pair of jeans. what was that movie we never saw but always wanted to go see? something about a tour of dirty pants? ;O)
jodi, you are SO loved! and thats something that you will never be without.
12:05 PM
you know jo, i think all of us are feeling that same sense of being torn between where we are and where our hearts rest. because when we're all together, that's where we feel at home. it's hard for me to be HERE fully, too... but i think when we decide to take our days into our hands, and maybe find a little more home within ourselvess, we can feel more comfortable and encouraged. for so long we relied on recieving love from each other to feel at home... and being apart from one another is our chance to look inside and draw some strength, courage, and love for ourselves from ourselves to play a comforting role.
maybe there's no harder thing than to turn to yourself when you're feeling lonely. that almost sounds backwards. but if you CAN turn to yourself in low or lonely times, then you've got something that will never let you down. find ways to turn to yourself. play music. paint. write. read. bring that light to life in times of lonliness. you've got so much inside.
i love you.
12:46 PM
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