birthday weekend = life changing

so it's not the most extravagant story ever, but this weekend has certainly been one full of (as one of the birthday wishes i received suggested) "laughter and relfection," both are equally important in my life! i went to hood river with some awesome friends here who were so up for the adventure and up for having a good time that the rest of the weekend flowed so well, i had such a great time, and i got a whole weekend to just be ME. i think i was beginning to get overwhelmed with how many people i interact with every day at school. organizing shows at the co-op, going to classes, playing music, eating dinner at the bon, pretty much everywhere there are people i know at this school. its great! but its also overwhelming-- in a great way.

i think what i've really started to learn this weekend is that i cannot be afraid of how great my life is, or can potentially be. i can't put myself down, or dismiss my creative urges, or neglect my affectionate nature, or stop myself from having good experiences. lately i've just been overwhelmed with the results of all my little excursions. last weekend it was going downtown by myself and talking to a complete stranger for a while, and really connecting about life. during the week i saw the shows i organized fall together as people poured in the doors of the co-op for the seth horan show, leaving with smiles on their faces and (some) with CDs in their hands. it gave me hope that my events really are making a difference on campus, and that i can bring people i enjoy and share them with the rest of my community and it pays off. not financially, but emotionally and intellectually, to be organizing these shows. then it snowed in portland, and that whole night was just amazing, to venture out and go crazy and play in the snow without any worries, and stay up talking til 430 in the morning.

friday i got overwhelmed and cried some in my room, it was good because laura came and talked to me for a while... or i should say, i talked to her for a while, and she listened and gave me cool books to look through!

and saturday-- my birthday-- was so much fun. me and 5 friends took the bus to hood river and got a ride across the bridge into bingen washington to stay at a hostel, go hiking, and walk around this tiny town and talk to random ppl... and cook dinnter, and meet people, and chill out. i really loved how my mind was just staying focused on the present moment, all weekend. and we were all just filled with curiosity about this tiny beautiful town on the river. we took a million pictures and laughed about random things and really got to know eachother lots better. ALSO my friends are awesome, and made me sweet happy birthday posters with personal notes from lots of ppl in my dorm, they put it on the bottom of the top bunk that was above me, so i saw it right before i went to bed, and it was so wonderful. people had the nicest things to write down.

i've just been wanting to cry so much when i think about how great life is. and how much i love people and beauty and music. and how much i have to look forward to. it's really incredible. i'm really thankful and amazed. and it will only get better from here (not WORSE, as i so often would believe when things were going well... like in my song spectacular-- "its got to be TOO good, to ever be true), but this weekend WAS TOO GOOD and it WAS TRUE, and i can live good experiences without having to expect bad ones to follow. that's something i'm working on, having more faith in these positive experiences and that i can keep them going. ahh, things are just so good right now! i'm ready for anything!

now-- poetry hw! peace out, and thanks for sending birthday wishes from afar, i felt a lot of love this weekend from all over the place.

jodi