the beginning

i can't believe i'm typing this from my bed, in my room in the basement, on my very own mac PowerBook G4 laptop!!!! This thing is awesome, i feel like writing a book or something (dont worry I won't attempt to in this post).

Christmas started around 7 am.. we opened lots of presents and sat in piles of wrapping paper and opened boxes. I was thinking about taking a shower and eating breakfast and trying on some of the new clothes i got... but my mom brought in this trash bag and my dad told us that we're all getting a surprise because his books have been selling lots and he had the money to treat us all.. i pulled this out of the trash bag with a sort of face that is like "are you kidding me?" i said... "is this MINE?!" and they were like YES! and i just started screaaaming! Biggest surprise everrrr.


anyway.. besides the material obsession i'm trying not to have with this beautiful piece of equipment, this christmas has been filled with a whole lotta love. I'm so glad rach and kathleen could come over yesterday when my grandparents and aunt and uncle were here. we started christmas early because we went to jersey today... but yeah us three had another chilled out time in my room, talking about where we're at in our lives (cause it seems like we're always somewhere new each time we see eachother.. which is kind of amazing) I love what we have, cause we're so freakin understood when we're together and its just very cool, very real, very true.

speaking of being understood... i think this christmas, my christmas list was a lot more centered on stuff that fits with me.. like i got a lot of books by awesome authors (ralph waldo emerson.. albert camus), and some sweet sounding CDs. i never used to ask for "meaningful books" but thats totally what i wanted.

its weird though, having so much this christmas, cause i know theres lots of people who dont have much. i feel kind of compelled to give. i watched oprah the other day and she helped out so many people in south africa to get jobs and help run schools of orphans and all this really amazing stuff. it was really cool cause i was in africa and i totally knew the feeling she was talking about having... i dont care how many people try to make fun of oprah, that woman is so amazing and no one can convince me otherwise! but yeah.. a dollar a day can save a kids life there, i kind of feel like doing that.

ever since i studied government a little bit and started becoming aware of poverty, i'm just like.. why are people so RICH? cant they just reach a point of satisfaction and start giving everything that surpasses what they need... its just so contradictory to our society to try to have that "point" to reach and just stop after that, but i really wish it were that easy, cause people could be helping eachother out a whole lot.

i think the internet has really connected far-away parts of the world.. like i've received emails from people in burundi, africa. does something sound ridiculous about that? i receive emails from my friends 10 minutes away that live very similar lives.. and then 26 year old augustine sends me an email from some rundown internet cafe in africa. we're all just people man.. and we're all as connected as we'd like to see ourselves. maybe its just a matter of allowing ourselves to give a little; not shutting out the voice that says "save the world!", because its logical to say i cant save the world, but how the hell do we find out what we CAN do unless we try something.. for the sake of someone else, when its natural to want to. its just so beautiful to even think about.

so what if my senior year is slowly coming to an end.. i just feel like every day is a beginning. each thought is like another beginning of something new. lifes too full for powerlessness, especially in the place we live; we have SO MUCH OPPORTUNITY! do everything you ever wanted to, before the new year, every day, dont wait, just LIVE and love it all.

okay so maybe i diddd write a short novel, hopefully you stayed with me and didnt stop reading, love you all, merry day after christmas


Jodi

speak up

I was walking my sisters dog tonight after a wonderful dinner with mike and alexis to celebrates mikes 18th birthday, when suddenly, little silent fox-like kito starts barking at a mailbox across the street. This dog never barks.. and if he ever does its a little polite "yelp", but tonight he barked SO loud at that mailbox. It was late and dark so i guess he thought it was something else, but it was weird because he sounded like such a different dog.

Now i know dogs arent people.. and kito is stupid for barking at a mailbox, but theres this sort of theme, and something i felt like writing about as i heard kito's mean voice for the first time. I thought about bottled up emotions. earlier tonight i was rehearsing for the christmas eve service tomorrow, and gorge (pronounced in a spanish way.. hor-hey) our bongo-man got very upset. He has to be the nicest man I think i've met in a long time. last time i played for church he came up to me afterwards and said "great job!" and shook my hand really firmly. Gorge was very upset tonight because inbetween practicing songs he kept working on beats for the song and the guy in charge wouldnt let him continue.. sounds kind of petty but i picked up on the frustration and apparently he's been playing for the church band for months and has always felt left out. how do i know?

because gorge spoke up today for the first time.. he came out from behind his bongos with a thick latino-type accent saying "i know this is not what you intend for me to feel, but i feel very left out, if i want to do this i want to do it right and it seems like you all could care less about whether or not i am involved" the man had a point.. nobody was paying much attention to gorge lopez. it didnt have to be such a big deal, but it was.

so how does it all tie together? well... theres a lot of statistics (i learned from quiggs presentation today) showing that teenagers have a lot of problems and dont feel like they can talk about their problems to people, enough teenagers that one is commiting suicide every hour and 4 minutes. Everyone's had to swallow their pride a couple times, but after a while things build.. and the mailboxes in life look like monsters in the dark. I kind of liked that the dog went on barking and howling like a wolf, I'm glad gorge made his point tonight at rehearsal. Because if we have nothing else in life, we have a voice. and sometimes the power isnt so much in the exact words we choose as it is in the release of emotion when words are spoken alloud to another person.


Jo

in place of english class..

i'm stayin home from school today. So far with my day off I have: slept in, applied to belmont university, applied to north park university.. and once my dad gets home I plan to finish up and send in the rest of my college apps: reed, lewis and clark, denison, emory, and tufts!

feels good to be getting all this stuff out of the way... I feel a little bad now cause I could've made it to my last 2 classes but I didn't have a note and my parents are out, so I started workin on CD covers and such with pictures I took in photography.

i'm listening to the spill canvas. They remind me of dashboard, except a little less exciting, a little more depressing. Seems like by the time you're finished listening to this CD you either wanna cry or cut yourself. the lead singer just sings in such a helpless way. gotta like brace yourself for this CD. The guitar is sweet though, all acoustic and quite intricate. here let me show you how ridiculously depressing these guys can be: "now just do as you're instructed and take this razor and cut your palms, i'll do the same until a river of crimson begins to flow.. a funeral for my once loved youth"

wayy too intense! when they play at the barn i think i'm just gonna give the lead singer a hug and say "everything will be just fine mister!" :)

they do have some good messages in their songs like "the tide" .. "heaven's not a place that you go when you die, its that moment in life when you actually feel alive, so live for the moment, and take this advice.. loves completely real"
the show this wednesay is gonna be sweet, www.settleformore.tk, for the info on the show.


I was reading over some stuff i've written lately, working on possible new songs..

here's something in regards to going away to college:

"Raindrops"

The fear in our eyes
Checks in with a glance
Raindrops from the sky
Inevitably touching new ground

Begging for a reason
More hopeful for the chance
That this will work out right
We’re taking flight from a cloud

Exhilarating isn’t it? This untouched sky
Melting over timelines blurred in flurries
Over time
I see the ground now but it’s far
We’ll just forget
We’ll just pretend it’s never coming
Because by then we’ll be so different

By then this will have changed

I am flying now

Reach over time

I’m trying now

Keep your heals dug tight

I’m crying now

But you’re still here
I see it clear, and far
Away.
Hello today.



see if you can get how it all relates,

peace

i'm going to college!

no no, i didn't get IN anywhere yet, BUT everything is just about wrapped up for my applications to every one of my NINE schools. Right now the top of the list seems to be belmont, lewis and clark, and pepperdine (in no particular order). Everywhere else is cool too, we'll see what happens, but hopefully everything will be out of my hands and into those admissions people's hands by next week.

colleges had me going crazy earlier this week. maybe it was the lack of sleep from the weekend, or being sick and going to school, but i thought i had to audition for belmonts school of music by wednesday and basically was a miserable person for about 2 days until everything cleared up. the auditions arent until january or february. but for a good couple hours i felt powerless in the realm of music, which is pretty bad considering how much i like music and like to think i'm not so bad at it. You see, most schools of music want you to know how to read music, and site read music.. and i know my Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge and FACE and all that stuff we learned in 5th grade, but the rest is all guitar chords and melodies happily floating around without all the notation!

I've truly come around though, the week took a turn for the better on wednesday. i guess i just got my shit together and worked things out. now i'm great! i havent been able to record this week for two reasons, the first is the computer i use was in the other building.. the second reason-- because i have no voice.


anyway, i am completely looking forward to the show coming up on wednesday! If i'm feeling better and can sing again i will be sarenading you all inbetween these bands performances. If you havent heard about it already here's the line up (not in this order):
This Day and Age (amazing band! check them out)
The Spill Canvas
Julian Gallows
The Last Broadcast
There's Always Forever


The show starts at 5pm, $7 at the door of The Barn, 2410 spencerville Rd, Spencerville, MD, 20868.


Definitely come if you can, I promise you, you will NOT regret it, 3 of the bands are on tour. Many of you have heard of The Spill Canvas, and my favorite of the night will be This Day and Age. If you haven't been to the barn, now would be the perfect time to check it out... its a great place to be!


nothing extremely deep on this post.. haha, one note though- make sure you're happy, or working for something you will be happy about. there's so much to love in life from people to music (and amazing concerts at the barn next wednesday) to art and all kinds of other things. maybe its christmas time thats got me all feelin good (even though i havent bought presents yet and i dont have time too!) I dont feel like stressing and i'll just try to work things out and let ppl know i love them.


two more things - i put this new song i'm still writing here - so listen (its called scattered) and hear the other songs if you havent yet.

and... a new found favorite named Andrew Norsworthy


okay thanks for reading, (dont forget about the show!.. AND money left over from paying the bands on tour goes to guatemala-- so bring your friends!)


much love,

jodizzle

get-away weekend

yes, it's true, i wasn't in school on friday

i slept in.. made waffles, and began the fun rach(a)el-filled weekend in Penn State. It was really a great time, with a good balance of deep conversation and fun things to do. Now i'm pretty sure every one who knows rachel monheit got a phone call asking a few questions to determine their personality type! wonderful.

has anyone ever had a massage? because i have to say i've always wanted to get one, i just picture it as this glamorous event. so of course, we all went this weekend to the penn state massage center. i can't tell if i look back on it as more funny or relaxing, cause the whole event was different than anything i've done. I mean.. you strip down in a room (we were all in the same room), and then have a sheet over you. (then we say we're ready for them to come in... and they take a while, and rachael gets up to remove jewelry, and they walk in on her half-naked!) ..and then a guy breaks out the lotion or whatever those oils were and works up one leg, and on to the next one... eventually massaging almost* every part of your body. sounds... sexual maybe? and i know its not supposed to be. but damn... i guess i'll just say... i hope whoever i end up with knows how to massage like that!

anyway.. it was a good time, and i look forward to when i'm an undergrad somewhere.. makin friends with ppl and having all of these types of adventures all the time. it's weird to think that its actually gonna happen. (still the thought of it is better than me going to school tomorrow for the who-knows-how-many day) it's kinda hard for me to stay on track school, cause i dont feel connected to it really, and yeah theres good times to be had in school, but theres just SO many more outside of it.

i'm still working on the recordings.. right now is when i'm going to give out copies of my cd's to a few somewhat professional people that i know that will give me feedback... then i re-record or add tracks and keep going. tomorrow i get to meet with a lady from LA that has made soundtracks for movies and tons of other cool stuff with music. I'm pretty excited. Last thursday i was going over my songs with nuc.. and he thought it would be helpful to listen to some artists that encorporate a good flow in their songs (its hard to explain this sort of thing), but this guy andrew norsworthy is SO incredible. I recommend listening to his music when you have the time, cause you'll fall in love with it.

well i better get back to the home-realities of homework and figuring out how the hell i can schedule and be ready for an audition at belmont university in the next 10 days! (that deadline came out of NOWHERE!) wish me luck (and a miracle or 2),


Jodi