not just another manic monday

yeah its monday already, and i had to write this english paper, but i didnt have the same like.. stress to finish it. it's been an interesting weekend, one that makes me feel like my lifes changing a little bit. like the plates of the earth shifting around, i've kind of been shifting ideals, swishing them around in my mouth, deciding whether or not to swallow them.

and i'm listening to the counting crows, thats nice.


in church today i had this realization about how a lot of this whole message churches pump out is based on our society. and i'm totally trying to separate that.. not just with church cause i honestly dont think about church/god in the same conventional way i used to. but everywhere. like i feel like theres a set of phrases people answer eachother with. and i start hearing in my head the way to respond to any person, like i could do it before they open their mouths, if i wanted to blend in with the crowd i know just how to do it.


if i wanted to blend in with society/expectations, i would've done my damn english paper already, and its 12:49 am... and i'm okay, and "okay" isn't some state people need to ask "you're just okay?"... okay is just as valid as great or awesome, or shitty. i really want to get away from societies conceptions and find my own. my own thoughts i can share with people and not feel like a damn answering machine when i respond.

i thought it was funny, the stamp they used to stamp our hands at Nation last night said "ORIGINAL".. sometimes the two worlds of being original and stamping hands (the S and the N maybe), just feel like they do not belong together. and i feel "difficult" for having all these thoughts about society and whatnot.. i mean to an extent ppl will say ooh just shut up and do your paper and go to sleep, stop being lazy. but the thing is, i know i'm not lazy. i'd rather not write a paper restating other ppls opinions tonight, so instead i wrote this. and i dont want a letter grade or a stamp of approval. i just want to be here, and be breathing, and appreciating every second of it. so what if it took being in my room for a few hours to finally phase out of TV talk and bullshit. i'm performing 3 times this week as long as my car will make it in the snow. this is my life.

creating, debating, run a mile, pen to the paper

for the times when i'd rather be a poet than a songwriter:


music in my ear
running down around
heartbeat, pulse, feet slap ground
i'm grounded
breath sounds
it's a fine line we made up as we were walking
on the earth
lines produce melodies
soft-spoken and free
"don't forget me"
we're on a one way street
blockaded defeat. backward memories
take the road back to me
we've got to believe
there are possibilities
on this one way street.
keep moving, up comes the sun.
tomorrow. life changes. and change clicks and clanks
in pockets begging to buy back the first drink
the good times in freedom
you are my. my rewind
there are no lines. and we walk on.






exist and tell.

i'm baaack channel 72

email from nigel reed:

Friends,
The third edition of Arts A La Carte is now on the air.
This episode features:
* music by the River Hill Piano Trio
* Poetry by Christa Puccio (Reservoir HS) of the Student Writers' Alliance
* The Unsung Heros art display recently featured at the Central Office
Gallery
* Artwork from the online galleries of www.hcpss.org
* an interview with singer/songwriter Jodi McLaren of Reservoir HS
* Jodi McLaren, guitar and vocals, performing her original composition
"What You'd Say To Me"

ARTS A LA CARTE airs:
Fridays at 4pm
Saturdays at 9am, 1pm and 7pm
Mondays at 9am, and
Wednesdays at 8pm

Enjoy the show.

All about the coolest girl ever

Rachael Maddox... where to begin! She's basically an incredible person, and she's MY friend! And my life has changed because of that, and I dont really know WHERE i'd be without her (no i'm not saying i'd be DEAD or something crazy like that, but its almost hard to comprehend whatever it would be)

Shes the kind of person that reminds me i'm not crazy, for those of you who think i am, you just dont understand me and thats okay because people like Rach DO understand. She believes in things, she is passionate, and i love her for that. but thats not alll i love her for. she questions the standards people have (whether this means highering standards or lowering i dont know, or even think its that important). its just been so amazing knowing rach, because... well we both have very strong beliefs, and ours arent like perfectly aligned or anything, but the more we get to know eachother the more we influence one another, and i think that is so valuable. to have someone to share ideas with and try to understand, cause that makes you better understand yourself or change when its necessary to. and we both DO that, and change, and grow, and don't get in fights about anything stupid, and that is incredible. but thaats not all i love her for

she knows how to have fun, how to be optimistic, how to see things for what they are and appreciate the littlest good in any person, how to love, how to give peace a CHANCE, how to run 3 miles, how to kickkk asss, to encourage, to be FREE, to paint on her walls, buy desks at the thriftstore, cry, smile, return phone calls (occassionally), look hot in a WAGON, accept people, get angry when things are messed up, deal with shit when it happens (wow i could keep this going all day) want to marry her yet?? ...you could just say HAPPY BIRTHDAY-- rachaelmaddox.blogspot.com


I LOVE YOU RACH! have an incredible dayy,


Jo

what a lovely day

i never sleep any more.. but thats okay, i suppose. valentines day wasnt depressing at all-- despite not having a valentine, cause shoot i got the best loves anyone could askk for and i dont need a holiday to recognize that- i just love them every day!


I emailed Claude about finding a way to donate money online to the African Liason Group, and he followed up on it and set up an account! If you're reading this and will not be able to help raise money in the community, or would rather just click a button to help people in Burundi have some food to eat you can go HERE and send this page to whoever you please:

http://www.africanliaison.org/index.htm



Stuff like that makes me happy... because all it took was some initiative and some talking... KEEP TALKING, awareness is going to get this rolling.



enjoy your valentines day, spread whatever looove you got.


Jodi

Real People Wanted.

I just got off the phone with Jen Lemen (go read her blog: www.jenlemen.com, she rocks). And we were talking about lots of things including Africa, and boys and alcohol... you don't need to know all this, anyway, I WANT TO GO ON TOUR. I seriously just know that music is something I'm willing to work at. Music is something I'm willing to go out on the line for, and get rejected, and get back up, and grow and change through. I want to learn how to be a kick-ass song-writer and performer, and i dont want to learn in a classroom, i want to learn on a fucking STAGE at a club or a bar or a coffeehouse, wherever!

You don't see many classified sections in the newspaper with something that say "REAL PEOPLE WANTED" but damnit, i really DO want some real people, some people who are on the same page as i am with this connection to music, or connection to learning through living. I want you, and I want you to collaborate with me and drive across the country meeting other real people and sleeping in the car, and waking up in a new city for the love of music and the love of experience. Sure it'll be uncomfortable. You think waking up at 6 am and driving to school when its dark is comfortable? You think sitting in a room unable to share your ideas and being subject to an authority figure that insists they're teaching you important information, you think thats comfortable? Well the weird thing is, the answer is YES, its comfortable, you know why? cause you've done it for 12 freaking years. And not EVERY class is like that (because if every class was like that, i think i would've dropped out by now), there are some teachers who are concerned with real things in the world and making their class interesting and connecting to other people in the class, and allowing a students curiousity for things that are "out of the lesson plan" happen. sure maybe college is like that too.. i mean i really hope it is.


but at the same time, i just look at the road and i look at my guitar and i feel this overwhelming desire to go out there and do this. Naturally... I don't think it's the smartest thing to do alone. I'd get lonely, I'm a young female, cities are dangerous, so if you're sitting there reading this, or know someone who wants to be reading this who's on my page (in the figurative sense), lets do this! I already know the idea is kind of crazy, i'm past being worried about being different, because i just am and thats the truth and theres no escaping that, so i'm not escaping it. I'm graduating highschool, I dont know where/if i'm going to college come next fall, and I want to start doing music all the time, buildling my resources, having new experiences. and if you're reading this, and you know me, you know its true! so don't let me get stuck in some track i'll regret. I'm not saying i dont want to go to college, cause college will be cool and i'll be able to meet ppl and travel (hopefully), but theres no bounds on an open road except the direction of travel (northbound, southbound). I can deal with that, calculus says theres an infinite amount of tiny spaces for things to happen. (see i even see shit like how calculus DOES relate to the real world, its not through using the formulas either, its through knowing the concepts). Come May 31, the musician starts really living. Esp. if someones around to do this with me.. i mean drummers are nice, sound people, bass player, any other interesting instrument player. lets do this.



Jodi

progress... lots more info

Hello everybody,

I'm feeling much better about the idea of helping people out in Burundi, better in the way that plans are forming and more information is coming in, and different organizations are helping out... so I'm less overwhelmed and much more encouraged by people's responses so far. I found an organization that Augustin's brother, Claude, who grew up in Burundi and lives in the US now, works closely with called the African Liason Group. Here's one of the emails Claude sent me:


Because of the Tsunami relief effort, no many organizations are paying
attention to what's going on in Burundi, so therefore not many American
organization will be helpful as far as Burundi is concern.

First of all you need to tell people that you are working with a USA
Registered Non-for Profit organization and the reason this is important is
because of credibility issues first and second but more importantly, any
gift will be tax deductible. African Liaison Group is the best group for
you because it has both of the above issues and more importantly have a
relationship with indigenous organizations in Burundi who are involved in
the relief work.

On the food shortage issue, African Liaison Group have worked with
"Community Center Fellowship" in Burundi and Augustin is part of that group
and we will continue to work with them and we also work with CITI Bank to
transfer funds. ALG transfer funds to Burundi every month.
Here is the address: African Liaison Group P.O.Box 8867 Surprise, AZ 85374




Claude also sent an attachment with information on the situation in burundi:


Burundi is facing a serious food shortage according to the Burundi branch of World Food Program (WFP: an organization that focuses on food security issues in the country). The WFP says in its bulletin, just published, that the shortages began in early September and could last up to five months.

The bulletin reports that the shortages were largely unexpected this season and attributes the crises to two factors: the early arrival of the dry season and the subsequent sharp drop in bean production. Beans represent the principal crop of the February to June harvesting season.
In addition, the bulletin says the propagation of a "mosaic virus" has devastated cassava plantations in Burundi's northern and eastern provinces. Cassava is the staple food for many families.

The UN Children's Fund nutritional surveys conducted last month indicate that in the northeastern provinces, those affected by diminished bean and cassava crops, already experience prevalence rates for acute malnutrition in 40% of the children from six months to five years. Chronic malnutrition observed within the same age group has reached 71 percent, according to the bulletin. The current food shortage will only add to these numbers.

We are asking friends of Burundi to join hands to support Burundi at this time. You can help to supply families with beans, cassava, potatoes and maize. Our organization partners “Community Center Fellowship’ will get the supplies from the neighboring countries of Rwanda and Uganda. It will cost approximately $10 to feed a family for a month. You can offer hope by giving food and sending a message of love. Sometimes the greatest hope comes from knowing that others remember you and care for you – knowing you are not alone in your time of need.

Please make checks payable to African Liaison Group and send to
P.O.Box 8867 Surprise, Arizona 85374




I'm posting allll of this just to give anyone in any city or home the opportunity to help out personally. The plan I have so far for the ho-co community is to make a video for RHS and try to get an advisory day to play the video and allow people to donate money to the cause through their advisories. for people to be affected, they will have to KNOW something about what this place is and why it's important that we help, so the video will include my story of visiting Burundi, and receiving an email last week asking for help from a friend that I stayed with. I'll include pictures of Augustin, Claude, their family, and other pictures taken by me, in an effort to show people that this is REAL. If you are skilled with making video's, I'd love your help... otherwise I'll try doing something through RHS TV studio. I can make copies of the video so that other schools can use it and gather the money to send out.


There's one more plan that I'm motivated to follow through on with the help of Jen Lemen, and that is to put on a concert in my house or something, and video tape it, and put it online using some Mac technology, with a way to donate money online. Jen and I will be talking soon about this.


Money is the most useful form of donation because the food is bought in Rwanda and Uganda (for much cheaper than it would be here), and then brought to people in Burundi. However, as the letter above says... sending letters is a great way to let people know they aren't alone and that people her in America are concerned for their lives, because struggling to survive is really hard, esp when they feel no one cares. The main language there is Kurundi, but many people also speak French and a few speak English also. Couldn't hurt to do that, if you feel motivated.


Augustin (currently living in Burundi) wrote an email as well with similar information stated above and I'll include his last sentence as well:

Greet everybody who are ready to help. Tell them that tlove them and we pray for them because we appreciate what they are doing. May God bless you so much.



Keep your hearts with the people there. We're really going to help.

scattered. the journey from myself to the world

so i have all these freaking college interviews, and i seem to like all the schools and i really DONT know where i'll end up and for once i dont like the sound of all these options, i just want to know! and so the major things on my mind right now are, what to do?! because i feel a number of different ties, some of which are cultural (going to college after you graduate highschool), other of which are innate (playing music), and even more-- necessary (helping people in Burundi).

so all these thoughts brought me back to a song i wrote called scattered... and i played the first verse and the chorus and then kept playing... making up a new second verse and new choruses, and i wish my house was wired by the IRS and i could figure out where the camera they hid was and get a copy of what just came out of my body, it was like a burden sung out on my living room floor. and i wish there was something recording it because it felt so monumental but i didnt do the best job of transcribing it after-the-fact.

basically the second verse started with like... there are many options, make your choice, a. b. c. d. e., and society will tell you if you're right, or if you're wrong. i am not wrong, i'll sing along, and choose them all, or jus reject them and move on. i am not wrong..

i forget how it transgressed into the world and burundi... but for a long time i kept singing "and my brother and my sister and my mother and my mother, and my father and my sister and my brother and my brother"... on and on just yelling this out to Am and D. and then "people with names and faces, we are the human race and airplanes were created, we are not separated or segregated like we've been for ages." (atleast thats what i remembered enough to write down, might have been more to it than that) and after i sang that, i just started sobbing, like crying so hard, still playing guitar with the same intensity. but i couldnt stop crying.

it was the most amazing song i've ever written. and no one will ever hear it with the bridge of my crying and humiliation for this human race who's been separated for ages!


written after the fact:
people still hated, like they've been for ages
but we all were created
equality you mock me endlessly
insisting you exist with meaning
here i mean
cause we are not separated
draw a map and build its bridges
connect. connect. connect.
the givings contageous
when you're not separated any more
unity defies war.





so if i cant make that song just as powerful as it was to me just now... i hope i can make something thats powerful in someone elses life, whether its us lucky priveleged people in the US, or our starving family members in africa. and we are family, people.



PS- i think i'll organize a few big shows, to raise money for people in burundi to eat some food. rach said i could play at penn state, some barn shows are coming up, i figure music will be the best route for me to do some good in the world. also working on getting a paypal account for ppl to donate money online. i'll update everyone once its done. then its our job to make people aware. so start talking, and if you dont know what i'm talking about, read the post below this one.

one more thing- i'd love some comments or email (settle4more@gmail.com) with ANYthing... this whole things been kind of hard for me, so let me know your reactions

inspired to do something yet?

hey everyone... i'm gonna need some help. Augustin just emailed me a long email explaining the drought in burundi, and that many people are starving because they don't have food, because they're crops need water. he said he's heard of 70 adults already dead because of this, and he wonders how many more children there have been/will be. Augustin feels very connected to the children of his country, and trying to do something to make a difference there, he's trying to collect money but the government took 5% of everyones salaries and 8% of govt salaries to help get food to these people... so when augustin asks people for money in his country they say "i'm already helping through my salary".

i mean, lets face it, we all have a lot more money than many of these people do in the first place. Lots of people don't have jobs, they're "job" is working on a farm and getting food and bringing it to the market.


i know this seems like a far away thing, like sure, people are always dying, who are we to step in? i've avoided donating money to many different charities because "you can't give to them all".... but for god's sake, i stayed at augustin's house, his family spent hours cooking up extravagant meals for us, he sat down and played guitar with me, and people a few miles into the countryside from him are dying... and he wants to do something about it, and he's asking us to help. and i think we can. i really hope we can. i've never felt this passionate about wanting to help people in the world, and i'm just hoping you will catch this "fire" and contact as many organizations (NHS at high schools... churches... organizations), to first inform them that this country is in need, and then start raising money.. it's a long email but i'll put most of it here for you guys:


            Normally, we have street children here at Bujumbura city. Some of them are helped by some N.G.Os, but others are without help, then they become hopeless. And you know that it is normal for that to happen in a country like ours which still in war until now because there is one rebel group which keeps on fighting. But in addition to that, northern provinces of Burundi (Kirundo and Muyinga) are declared to have a great and terrible problem of hungriness.  70 persons have already died away because of hungriness. People from that area are becoming thinner and thinner. If you see them on T.V. or if you see their pictures in news papers, you can really have pity. The government has decided to take out 2% on the salaries of all workers and 8% on salaries of government, senate and parliament members in order to come in help to this people. NGOs and churches are trying also to collect food for this people but it still not enough. So if adult people are dying like that, what will the situation of children of these regions  look like? As you can imagine  yourself, they suffering and dying more than adult people. And this is what is touching my heart so much. I feel that it is time for me to help these children using what I learned in Uganda. This is why I created an association called ‘’Street Children Hope’’. But the problem I have is financial fees.

            Jodi, what I’d like you to do first is to think seriously about these children as if you were living the situation. Before I deal with street children of Bujumbura who are careless, I must come in help to those who are dying up in the country. And I want you to help me in this project in this way : Try to become the ambassador of these children in your region. Share this situation with your family, your friends, your neighbors, and you church members (especially the youth) and so on …What you will ask them is not to give a lot of money to put end to this hungriness. But it to ask them to give just what they can get easily, and in the way they are guided by the holy spirit. Even if someone gives you 10$, do not refuse.  However it is, we will start with the help you will send us. I could do it here, but when ask people they tell me that they help them monthly with their salaries. Others say: I will take it myself to them.

           Once money is collected, send us e-mails and names of givers. We will take time to pray for them day after day and we will send them also mails in order to thank them. We will also send you not only pictures, but also VCD on which you will see the way we are helping them. Please Jody, take this project as serious in order to save lives who are perishing.

             After this special case of northern provinces, we may probably begin to deal with street children of Bujumbura who are careless. If it arrives for one of those givers to wish to come in Burundi, you can make us know. We will be ready to receive him and guide him in what he wants until he is back. If there is something that you don’t understand or if you need some further information, you can ask me. I am sorry for writing you a so long letter, it is because my heart is very touched by this situation. And I felt that I can not keep silence in font of a such situation. What I do is to ask, then God will do the remaining things. I am praying for it and for you so that God can touch your heart first and secondly hearts of people you will contact. Thank you for receiving this message, God bless you. I am waiting for the answer.


                                                                                                         Sincerely yours, Augustin






So this might sound a little crazy. but it's VERY REAL. and i dont care if you're christain, ppl in burundi really are, it's like they're hope in the world... but the issue is, they need help, and we can help them! i'll give you more details once i get them... and if you have ideas of how we can help please email me or post a comment or get talking.


my personal reflection: i called my mom and told her about it and she said "well THATS very nice of you!" very happily and encouraging... and i was like "mom, did you see that movie? (hotel rwanda), people just don't care... and i really do" and thats all i could say and i just started crying but managed to say goodbye... and when i hung up i kept crying for a while just because i KNOW there are real people in the world who are in need, and we have so much, and so many people just dont care, and i'm not trying to make myself look good by starting some charity, i just know it needs to happen if we wish to do some good in the world, it's things like this that come around and you just have to do what you can.

spread the word. i'll figure out a way to let ppl donate online, and otherwise might just start a collection bucket or something (not sure yet), i'm not much of a business person, but i hope you're convinced. and if you haven't already, please go see Hotel Rwanda... its got some serious truth in it, we all need to be aware.