when something matters

so i'm back from nashville.. and not only did i decide not to do thursday nights hw before i left, but i still havent gotten/started hw from my absence on friday! i was sitting down down math hw with my mac open playing ani difranco, when i got bored and checked my emaill... and read this email from augustin over in burundi, africa. the title was "happy new year" heres a peak:

I write this message just to wish you a happy new year. I know that I am late, but it is deep and it comes straight from my heart. I am sorry for not writing you often, I am busy. But I promis to do my best in order to keep contact with you. Jodi, I am thinking about a project for street children. I will make you know as soon as I finish. Greet every body. Thank you and God Bless you.

Augustin



i thought that was just.. precious, i dont even have the words for it. once you visit a place like that, you realize how much everyone there is doing, and how motivated they all are, or atleast how the people with the littlest bit of opportunity are SO motivated to do something good. i wrote back a long email explaining that there was a movie made here about the massacre in rwanda, and how i thought it was good that people here are being aware of their neighbors in africa, and realizing that we cant just turn our backs when people are in need.


this wave of sadness came when i looked back at my math books... and thinking about college, and spending hours and hours writing papers and plugging in numbers to formulas to prepare for this real word that is standing outside of myself. it's not that i dont think i can do the assignments that come with school, its that i think all of us could do so much more GOOD in the world with our homework time... the things that will impact me the most are those things i'll keep with me, beyond parameters of classrooms. one of those things is africa. what kind of a lame excuse is: i'm studying i don't have time for thinking about ppl in other countries. we're all busy, and my friend augustin just found the time to say happy new year, and i couldnt be happier that he did this in late january.. because we're all a little late in taking time out of our schedules for things that matter, whether its keeping up with a friend, or helping someone out.

the problem with school is its hard to see the big picture, and what it might look like. cause right now the big picture kind of looks like i'm wasting time reviewing the details of an concept i understand.


people matter so much, there are people behind computer screens, holding pens that wrote on the paper assignments, walking with the feet that pushed down car pedals going from point A to point B, eating with the mouths that speak words in public, thinking with the minds that are seldom let be in their natural state... try not to confuse the person with the machine they opperate, or the car they drive, or the slogans they sell, we're more than that shit.


augustin said "greet everyone", thats me doing this... think about the world, the good in it, the bad... but more, the people that channel it all into some form of being. they all matter, at least to me they do.


Jodi

institution schminstitution

DAY 1, Belmont:
comment made to my mom last night by me: I wish people didn't need an institution to learn.

people in the south are incredibly friendly. cute waiter at the restaurant we went to. nice ppl workin at our hotel. really nice ppl over at belmont. students that seem so happy its strange. i'm not set on it, but if i didnt go here i'd forever wonder what i could've done if only i'd been able to use all of the amazing belmont facilities... they're really awesome (recording studios, music tech labs, curb music hall...) wonderfulness.





so i'm really intrigued by nashville and belmont. i met so many ppl that do music and felt so at home. but i definitely was so turned off to the actual school of music. i just felt like i'd be starting at the bottom with that, and learning all the fundamental stuff i never cared for (which would be good), in an environment where ppl are 15 steps ahead of me (which sucks). let me say though.. that the whole 36 hours i spent in nashville, i didn't meet ONE mean person. everyone was incredibly nice, in a cool way. theres the kind of "nice" that people pretend to be, or really try too hard to be by forcing conversation that they think they're supposed to have, and then theres natural interest and openness and, sure, why not also call it- hospitality!

i liked the artsy stores, the music stores, the restaurants, the laid-back-ness, the coffeeshops, all of it really. i didnt really like it the first day, because the school of music guy was very set in his ways, which is fine if you're a traditional musician, but i'm not... and i can force myself to be, but i dont really think thats what its about.

i kind of feel like nashville is the home i left to be in a culturally diverse area... like it feels a step behind in some ways, and still the fact that the students are GOOD PPL and really happy, well... i'm a good person, and i was always a happy kid until i realized ppl dont just like you for who you are when you get to school, like what you wear matters a lot when you turn 13. i think i was very extroverted growing up, now i dont know what happened! i'm much more reserved at first impression, but this is the kind of place that makes me wanna branch out more again. maybe all my cool liberal arts schools i applied to in cities will be just as entertaining and welcoming, but i'm definitely considering belmont.


my minds kind of "on overload" as my mom would say. nashville really feels like a different environment, its a little crazy to jump back and forth like this! i like the newness of college. college is a new experience in a new place with new people and new reactions i'll have to each part of it. thats really cool. the thing that isn't so exciting and "new" is the same old curriculum, lectures, writing papers, majoring in something practical... i'm going to learn wherever i go really (i'm talkin summer time as well) learning is not limited to some classroom, or only gained in a classroom... man i'd even go as far to argue so far that school has pushed me to search for better alternatives to learning. i kind of do it all i guess, cause i still DO school, the grades thing... but to really enrich my mind, i dont necessarily stay up extra late working on homework/papers (with the exception of the mentor program), instead i'm out in the world performing, meeting people, growing WITH my friends. and thatt my friends, is amazing. more amazing than any institution can boast.

so where the hell do i go from here? lol thats on the belmont ads: "from here, go anywhere". guess i'll go to sleep for tonight, and each day shift a little in my position, and eventually i'll decide to sit down for the ride, choose my match, follow a road into a completely NEW place. can i still grow with you guys in a different state? ... i dont forget my loves.



thanks again for the super-space, oh sphereous blog,


Jodi

SELL out.

i havent written in a while it seems, but it doesnt mean i stopped thinking or feeling, maybe it means just the opposite, and i've just been so wrapped up in conversation and poetry-writing, that i just havent made it to my neglected little blog. i'm going to nashville tomorrow, the music city/music-capital, whatever they call it, to visit belmont university! this should be great to give me an idea if this place is really where i should be going or not. speaking of music cities... i've been involving myself in many aspects of music lately, not just the me strumming on a guitar making sounds, and exhaling air through vibrating vocal chords, but also the whole intellectual/informational music-sphere (i feel like you can put the word "sphere" at the end of anything and make it sound cool... blogosphere, jodisphere, peoplesphere..)... yes well i'm researching for this 10 page paper and being very puzzled by the realities i'm unconvering. it's all very exciting, but i'll let you wait til my 10 page paper if you really actually care about the details. (it'll be good)


so i talked to jimi calhoun today and asked him about the truth about record companies, and what they look for. and it seems like they're pretty much after finding artist that can be commercialized, so really its about making money, chasing trends, did i say making money? and making money. so money, as nice as it sounds to the ears, and looks to the eyes, and feels when you spend it on the things you think will satisfy you forever, seems like its completely against the actual art of music which has nothing to do with profit margins, well unless your lyrics revolve around the stuff you own (sorry to bash rap, cause i know i grew up on it!)...


i mean, but everyones gotta make a living right? everyone needs to have a stable job where they're making an income, right? because otherwise they're failures to society, homeless ppl aren't worth much more than some extra change in our pockets, we are what we appear to be. everyones gotta be stable so that they can be seen as acceptable and presentable, right? god.. i cant get away from it, and even in ENGLISH class heres mrs. bennett saying "the world isnt going to change, you all need to grow up and accept the way things are and learn to live in the harsh world" i smiled at her whole comment and story only because she came out and SAID IT, when all of us go on trying so hard to conform barely even conscious that we're giving up the experience of being ourselves and learning from our own personal mistakes, she's here advising us to do work with the way the world works (so set on schedule that after a girl was raped and murdered at john hopkins, they went on with class as usual, without any mention of the tragedy), to work with that sooner rather than later... and i just know thats not what living is for.

--because if everyone HAD TO conform, HAD TO make money, HAD TO have a stable job where they were presentable and acceptable, then there would BE no ani difranco, no jimi hendrix, no albert einstein, no van gogh.... and those are just examples i know enough about to see that these people couldnt help being different, going against the grain of their time, dropping out of highschool, not having enough money to get to his next gig... yet we say how great these people are! we teach what albert einstein has to say after he gets kicked out of highschool for not always doing what he was told.

not to mention Galileo, man was in jail.. they finally realized the stuff he was saying was TRUE after he died, even though it seemed to contradict what religious people had believed. so no... i dont think its about being the same, i dont think its about toughing it out and accepting the harsh realities only to become a part of them one day. we seem to be leaving out some of the most important lessons in school... but i guess thats great, because it gives me room to see them myself, and learn on my own, forming my own thoughts... thats what this is anyway, this life is a process of forming thoughts that change the ways we live.

can you see how off we are to be so consumed by money? it doesnt even feel that important when you think about the passion involved with people who do what they truly felt they needed to do, what they were made to do, what they made themselves able to do. yet its still there, almost naturally, because how else can you make a living doing what you love without enough money to keep yourself going? is there really this fine line between trying to get your name and your music out there to reach people individually, and trying to get each one of those individuals' money? should there be just one intent (the primary intent of artistically reaching people), and is that why record company's are necessary (to deal with financial stuff artists dont care about)? i think the goal is not to be at some money-maker's disposal, but to be lifted by the experiences of performing to an interested audience. if thats "too optimistic" than i just dont care because some things arent worth sacraficing to get used to the world, sometimes the world needs to get used to something different. and i like to think thats what i'm here for. if not to listen to the different voices, then to also insert my soundwaves into the process... sometimes there may be silence i speak out into, other times there may be so much going on that my voice is babbling on a street corner in nyc with traffic, and conversation, and life, and laughter, and tragedy so mixed up that the only thing anyone will focus on is avoiding any type of connection they dont already have. well both realities co-exist. and each individual exists through both extremes of simplicity and clutter.

this is what we live with, but its not necessarily who we are. because conditions and contracts and proposals can change and be broken and redrawn... but who we are transcends those things, those materials, those weights. who we are is endlessly filled with possibility. love who you are, and what you do with your life everyday. to sacrifice who you are for the material exchange will never be fulfilling, and when all of america realizes this, i dont know what will happen to our economy! dont think i have to worry about that though, we'll just keep the little secret in my readersphere.



peace, love, and southern accents (more on that coming soon),

Jodi

reverent silence

i've done a lot of different things today, but one event seems to have overshadowed the rest of my daily activities (midterms, lunch with rach, typical stuff)... cause today kathleen and i drove into baltimore to see Hotel Rwanda, a film about the genocide that took place in Rwanda about 11 years ago.


like.. its hard to even explain the feelings i have after watching that. having visited africa myself, and met people there, the images didn't seem all that far from my memory, and the people shown dead on the streets were easily relatives of faces I'd met and talked with. i really don't know what can be said in light of the genocide, in light of the UN that barely did anything, the tribe that got way out of hand, the people who were abandoned and left to die under individuals, human beings, that can't be too much different from you and i, because we're human too.

you just get this question like-- why didnt any one care enough to do something? ...and i guess we're all just selfish, that and we don't understand a life outside of our own.

i loved what kathleen said after the movie, when we'd finally lifted our heavy feelings out of the theater chairs and got to pushing coffee into a styrafoam cup... she said "it just makes me appreciate this" and i said... appreciate what? and she says, "life". which was great, because i didnt even really think of that at the time... and it really made me realize that people are affected in different ways based on what they can and can't relate to.

for me there was so much to relate to in that movie, having visited africa, that it was overwhleming and difficult and hallowing (as mike so eloquently suggested).

when i was driving home.. in my car by myself, i cried a little more, and had this strange thought that crying for the attrocity somehow helps heal it, like maybe the human race is in something together, and by recognizing one anothers struggles and considering them valid, we hurt only to grow in knowledge and understanding. it just made me think, that if a million people see this movie and are in some way effected by it, that will somehow be a way of healing for us as a world. we don't have to be so selfish all the time.



i mean.. this really brings about many more topics of discussion, like the way people are educated today, and how people could care less about so much stuff in school because it doesnt RELATE to them. i'm not saying its bad that people dont pay attention, i'm saying the focus should be more about relating to individuals and developing a real understanding than... whatever shit system we have now with grades and tests and right answers and measuring up to your peers and all the other BS focuses we have. I'm glad that i can be inspired to learn, but i give that credit to many outside experiences, and a select few teachers who took the time to relate to their students.


relationships bring about change, and when the world learns to form relationships across nations, thats when it will be hard to say no and turn our backs, because it really comes down to names and faces and saving lives, not death tolls, but stories, stories of life and the fight for it, and the loss of it, and the hope for it to remain.



its just so big, like 10 tsunami's big, 330 september 11ths, thats the kind of lives i'm talking about, taken out of hate or maybe just large-scale misunderstanding, big enough for a few hours of your time to be somewhat informed...


its playing at the charles theater.... www.thecharles.com, and muvico. find some time.





-Jodi

open views

so i was doing a little "research" for my paper for GT research program... my paper is gonna be on how ppl can be genuine artists in this corporate america place thats always tryin to make a dollar. so i slept at rach's last night and got a bunch more ani songs, and some freakin awesome conversations (as usual... i love rachael), hell-- we even figured something out for senior week, but back to the point, i'm using 2 artists to learn from and write about in my paper who do a good job of being genuine artists. Ani difranco is one of them and i think joni mitchell will be the other (which may be hard to pull off, cause they are very different, but i think it'll work). so up until today i was thinking research paper, successful artists, and its like.. you write down how many CDs she's put out, the fact that she's successful with her own record label, rejecting some big corporate label, and how she's making it big anyway... selling out her shows, selling lots of cds, selling, selling, selling. well yeah, rach told me about some letter ani difranco wrote in response to an article that was published about her in this feminist kinda magazine naming ani as one of the top 21 feminists in the 21st century. ani's concern was the information they included about ani which included that she was making lots of money with her independent label.. basically you should read it: http://www.columbia.edu/~marg/ani/letter.html there.

well this article got me thinking just because how passionate she is and the stuff that she's saying. she's saying its NOT about the money and how come when you comment on an artist you have to say how much money they are making. there's just this whole feeling of purity from her, i cant even explain it cause its not like she's doing all the "right" things... when i did my presentation in class and mentioned that she's bisexual i could feel the room shift with discomfort. but theres just so much to be found in this music. and i guess reading that made me want to write the paper with out all those facts that make people smile and nod and say "wow she's a millionaire, and she does whatever the hell she wants"... i'd rather them say "she connects with people and works to portray the truth" she did this when she had 15 people listening in a bar.. and continues with her concerts packed with thousands of people.... so why do we need to hear one thousand and one million?

success isn't a dollar bill, it's not a whole bunch of them, it's living this life and doing something while you're here, something under your own power.

i like listening to ani cause i dont feel so strange, cause she's like 10 times more out-there than i am... and i can't whole-heartedly agree with every comment she spills out of my speakers, but damn is she brave, and damn can she speak her mind, and she's really got a message that is worth considering; you're mistakes are just as valid as your accomplishments because they all are part of YOU... and capitalism has covered our accomplishments with a price tag and we barely see the difference.

its just our choices, its just the place we live, its just the way things are, i never even thought about what kind of car ppl drive and how it affects the environment a few years ago... are we really to blame her in america? everyones got their problems, and shit they can do better.




inspiration, now thats one of the most necessary things on earth, yet no one really gets it. and this is why i love reading this stuff and listening to the music and talking about it- cause its interesting and it inspires me to learn a little more and form my own opinions on more of those fuzzy gray areas. can't just accept anybody's point of view cause they're convincing, you gotta learn for yourself. what a sweet weekend.



have an inspiring day,

jo

See me on TV!

Channel 72

today (friday jan 14)- 4pm
saturday- 9am, 1pm, 7pm
monday- 9am
wednesday- 8pm



check it out! This will just be one song, so 2 minutes of the program will be of ME. muwhaha. check it out, i'm sure its not perfect but nonetheless, this is soo awesome that i got to do it.

also that coffee house at the barn i mentioned is reallly february 25th, so forget about the 18th!


don't forget to watch that ho-co station!



Jodi

rambling poetry for the afternoon

to today, the post office, and opportunity:


the papers are in sent with plastic and media
sticky taste of the edge of envelopes
not yet opened, nobody knows what's inside
inside my car i smack my tongue against the roof of my mouth
which lingers of sticky envelope edges
and words from pages from thoughts in my head

this is the black squirrel running in my back yard
and the gloom of clouds unburdened by one break in the fabric
covers our heads, rains on our flower beds bringing them
squishy satisfaction in their nutritious mix of worm holes and nutrients

a bowl of cereal satisfying 1.5 grams of fat
160 calories for me please, make that 2 of these
and life is poured into a bowl
death cereal is in the back room illegally sold
make your choice, free your soul of the qualities
inequalities monstrosities a lot of ease
as the breeze freezes animals in their holes for a winter without needs

soon lights camera action
what will she say to attract them
to look a little deeper to see that she's found him
not the boy of her dreams, or the man that redeems
but somebody named peace sitting beside me
making loneliness and being alone feel like a symphony
of what i think i know, and how i think i know it, and when and why i want to show it
to whom and for what
the bolts and the stuff
of everyday, holding time together on a string
swinging back and forth
and it works and works and makes us work
for the time for conforming minds to fit inside the pendulum
to stay inside the world of them.

outside its gloomy and the taste of sticky envelopes lingers
the mail man must think about these things quite often
millions of enveloped sealed and re-opened and hundreds of people left
with that residue of glue and all we thought we knew the day we decided to communicate
something different in the fate of one afternoon.




(posted because sharing is caring),

jodi

on top of the.. circular world-shaped pebble

this day was going fine... despite extreme cramps (sorry boys, this is the truth of being FEMALE)... the cause of those cramps is quite possibly causing the rest of my emotional unease as i sit here trying to decide which songs to put on a CD that I plan to send to colleges.

Really there is a whole lot i have to be happy about, like for example, it being joeys birthday today (happy birthday!!), and how i'm going to the TV studio tomorrow to record 5 songs to be put on channel 72 throughout the next couple months! and.. that the coffee house is coming up.

still the case of feeling out of place (hey that rhymes) is back again and yelling at me for not knowing how to do all this shit for belmonts audition which is in 3 weeks. 3 weeks! i'm sure i'd love auditioning if i could perform my own songs and have it count for something (it does count for more than anything else in my life, just isn't worth much when it comes to music school). the beautiful blessing is somehow feeling like a burden again, of this natural desire to make music and to write.. and testing to see if anyone gives a damn. it's nice to think people do, it's really nice to be asked to be on ho-co TV.. and its ridiculous that a change of atmosphere can make the feeling of standing on top of the world turn into standing on a tiny pebble in my driveway. humbling i guess. and i'm kept from sleep because of all the obligations in my view, that i'm merely prolonging with distractions like this and IM. i guess i'm hoping one of these distractions will be enough to get me back on track, regain the confidence to have a true look of pride at the little studio tomorrow afternoon. feel free to uhh congratulate and support, cause sometimes i just need reminders, that i'm not all alone in my music, that other ppl are as much a part of it as i am, that it can be that big.




hmm that helped a little already, enjoy your wednesday afternoon (or whatever day of the week it happens to be),

a whole lotta love,


Jodi

something worth recording

I came home this friday afternoon relieved that the first week back from school was over, looking forward to a nap (which was unfulfilled). I had a meeting with Nuc today and about 20 minutes before I had to be there... So I checked my email only to find what completely made my day/week!

For those of you who don't know (this included my parents until this afternoon), I'm part of this song-writers collaborative workshop. It's for howard county students, and 8 of us have been planning this 8 week workshop. Last time we met we all played one of our songs, including Tom Payne and Sue Trainor, the two people who put the whole thing together (wonderful people).

So where to start? Tom Payne has connections... I first read an email from Nigel Reed, the person in charge of a new series on Howard County TV that received my information from Tom Payne, who recommended me for this series called Art a la carte... or something like that, and he wants me to appear on this show. I guess it's an interview and then a performance of one or two songs!! I know channel 72 isn't the most-watched station out there, but that is pretty damn cool! I still don't know if I'll be on it for certain, but if I have the choice, you know i'll be there!

Another quick update on events-- the RHS coffee house is March 11th (my birthday), and auditions are on February 23rd (Wednesday after school)... so spread the word to possible performers, and mark your calender to make sure you can make it! There may also be a show at the barn- a coffeehouse/open mic deal to raise money for the tsunami! I'm clearing the dates next week, the hope is for it to be February 18th (day after rachael's bday).. ahh yes, the love for music. I wish the colleges I applied to could understand how tight I am with actually caring to organize shows and perform places. I guess you have you're empowering moments and also some humbling ones (like the audition for belmonts school of music may be... considering i'm not a sight-reading classical guitarist and original songs is not part of the audition!).


That should be enough to keep me goin for a long while, I must say i've fully recovered from my last blog's dark confusion. i'm a free soul just taking the opportunities i get, and i do love so much about life/my life/the people in my life/etc. etc. to experience pleasure you must also experience pain, both are equally valid in this process of life.

i've had at least 5 people.. friends of the family and/or church people randomly ask me if i'm in any relationships/seeing anyone/persuing anyone. and it's been so long since anything has even happened that the question even feels foreign. i suppose something can't be forced into happening for the hell of an experience (there also is the problem of me needing a relationship to mean something to me, which stops me from going after just anyone). I'm a lil complicated, and not many guys are into that or ready for that... or maybe i'm picky.. still not even anything has come close in months. it's easy to reminisce on the previous relationships and miss them for what they were, and what they can no longer be. it's funny though because before people mentioned it so much i've really been so caught up in living "independently" with music and whatnot that it really doesn't matter that i havent had a boyfriend or anything close. you can still LIVE without that, at least i can right now.

(i drank lots of caffiene earlier to stay awake at this youth group dinner, which surprisingly turned out awesome, and now i can't sleep!)

well.. if you read this and it's saturday, i'm working at pepperjacks from 11-4, feel free to visit. i'm gonna read til my eyelids no longer have the strength to stay open, and fade into a hopefully pleasant dream remniscent of beauty. ahh how i love the freedom of blogging. saying whatever the hell i pleaase. peace out ppl


Jodi

state of mind

if freedom is a state of mind.. then isnt everything a state of mind? i mean.. you're as free as you think you are, as happy as you wanna be, as satisfied as you want to be, as miserable as you want to let yourself stay.


thinkin i should just go to sleep.. but at the same time feeling i need to push myself to start doing more things i care about. seems like society is sittin around saying "not my job to fix things, not my job to stand up to anyone, not my job to change anything" and we all know where to point the finger... we all know who's to blame. so there it goes... the leaders get blamed for not being enough of a leader to succomb to the followers needs. so no one follows.

and what have we got? america? society? high school? a group of friends? ... ourselves.

like.. i find it kind of crazy that we sit in school and beg to "do nothing" to.. "not learn". whats left then? sleep? having fun? so we party on weekends and sleep in til noon and that keeps us going. that keeps a lot of people going at least. still i want to be enlightened, i want to be inspired, i want to be drawn in, have my eyes opened to something exciting. does this mean i'm enamored by going to school? not really.. but its a shame that school cant be a lot better, considering the smart ppl that walk through the building.


just wanna leave this poem i thought was cool that got me thinking today... at school...


(A Translation of John Ashbery's) "WHAT IS POETRY"


by Jill E. Brown (April 1995)


Should we really call traditional verse with its ornamentation and
elaborate description poetry?
Can the acts of nature be forced into a linguistic box and then called
poetry?
Why does one feel compelled to control nature by demarcating it with
imagery and lofty symbolism?
If it snows, it snows. We have no control over it. Forget about the
pretentious attempts to characterize it.
Is it possible to forget about ideas altogether (like I am trying to here)?
I don't understand why poets revert back to tradition when we see the
possiblility in new forms. How can they not see the inadequacy of
tradtitional poetry as we, the New York Poets, so plainly see?
It goes back to school, where they try to teach you to abandon
creativity.
The mind is like a vast field full of life, potential, and possibility.
But they teach you not to see this and instead focus on a narrow
path of traditional bull shit. And that's all it is: SHIT. The
only purpose it serves is to fertiliz the field and grow
more precious flowers to describe in their endless
cycle of bull shit.




... and i just hope that cycle of bullshit does change for each individual into a beautiful life of opportunity in which they are in control. i'm just workin on building that capability, i know i have it, i just seem to lose sight of it when i'm at school half the day. we're priveleged to have free education, still its complicated.. and it really depends on your state of mind when it comes down to it, how you're gonna live/view things. mine just happens to be a lil depressing tonight (which is also subject to change because i want it to).



peace

resolutions

i went to youth group today and some people were asking what resolutions people were making... i kind of laughed because when i woke up on saturday i said maybe i'll go running because its nice out and its new years. haha and i didnt run! but its not really sad that i havent made any real resolutions for new years. the way i see it.. i'm constantly evaluating this process of life i'm a part of.

lots of people kind of look back on the year and look at all of the ways they are horrible people. how they weigh 10 pounds more than they want to weigh, how they stopped going to the gym, how some friendships have slipped away, how they havent given to any charity's or done much to help out other people... basically a big list of things that make us feel bad about ourselves, but then hopeful because its this new year and we can leave the past behind.

all that is true about leaving the past behind and having the ability to do some amazing things this year. but i guess i'm just not a planner. to have a whole year to map out is a little daunting and definitely unrealistic. basically we celebrate new years at midnight, but whats the difference between december 31 and jan 1? of jan 3rd and jan 4th? its a change of an hour.. of a day. we got everyday to do the stuff we want to. every day to evaluate and leave things behind.

like 2 years ago i wrote a song called everyday on new years eve. chorus is somethin like:


everyday theres something new, theres something new waiting for you
and when you go, its then you'll know, the pain will bring you through
the change will bring you through to me.



i mean, it sounds a little cliche, but i have that problem... of having a lot to say an not enough original ways of saying it.

didnt mean to diss new years resolutions i just mean to say life is a lot fuller if we act on those hopes day to day. for me life is a lot fuller that way.


adios